The Two Powerful Psychological Motivators to Initiate a Sexual Experience
As a sex and marital therapist, I hear the common complaint that my wife or husband doesn’t initiate sexual activity. They usually say they did once when they were younger, but now they don’t seem to have the “sex drive” they once had. Many men and women blame this on age and the change in […]
Creating the Time for Your Relationship
“Honey, we don’t spend enough time together.” “Yes we do, we spent all weekend together.” “But we were never alone. We were with the kids at all their activities and with our other couple friends at night.” “Well, I would say we are together all the time.” This conversation typifies a common problem facing many […]
Truth v. Harmony
“Truth v. Harmony” is the basic paradigm that individuals are confronted with every day in an intimate relationship: to either communicate their truth, which involves expressing their real emotions and desires, or what they think their significant other wants to hear. The “ true” type of communication creates a certain level of anxiety because when […]
How Do You Trust Again Once Betrayed
Given the high percentage of affairs occurring within marriages and the prevalence of divorce, clients often ask me, “How do I trust another man or woman again with my heart?” They don’t want to be single, and they want to take the risk again, but their fear of getting hurt stops them from moving forward […]
The Five Keys to Having Great Marital Sex
The common attitude regarding sex within the context of a marital relationship is that the longer a couple has been together, the worse their sex life will become. The frequency drops off along with the passion and intensity. They tend to blame it on having children or how long they have been together. These two […]
Valentine’s Day Is Not Just Another Hallmark Holiday
I always love Valentine’s Day. It’s the day to celebrate being lovers and giving presents to each other to enhance the intimacy that you share. Sounds like fun to me. A day of romantic pleasure, full of sensuous delights. It’s important to communicate your expectations regarding what you would like to have happen on this […]
The Three Key Components Necessary For Making Personal Changes
With the holidays over and the start of the New Year upon us, many people make resolutions regarding changes they would like to make in their lives. They start to make these changes, but after a few months, they may fall back into the same old habits. The reason for this regression might have to do with the fact […]
What Makes Someone An Effective Listener?
One major problem in most personal relationships, whether between husband and wife or between parent and child, is the inability to effectively listen to each other. This isn’t surprising to me, given that the skill of effective listening isn’t taught to most people. Yes, taught, because there is nothing “natural” about being an effective listener. Effective listening […]
How to manage your anger so that it empowers you to healthy change
So often my clients tell me how angry they are about some aspect of their life. Usually it involves their husband or wife regarding something that they have done or didn’t do in their relationship. I ask them where they direct their anger and they usually say at him. “ I tell him over and […]
How Do I Get My Significant Other to Change Their Behavior?
One of the most frequently asked questions I receive are what I call “how to get” questions. These questions include: “How do I get my husband to communicate and express his emotions?” “How do I get my wife to want to make love more often?” “How do I get my husband to stop drinking alcohol” […]